Last week we got a call from a friend saying that her husband wasn’t treating her well and was asking for a divorce. He also wanted to take their seven-year-old daughter with him to live with his girlfriend and the child he fathered with her. A couple days later it dawned on me that the reason he wanted her was probably not good. In this country, often step-parents don’t accept the children of their spouses’ previous marriages. And if they do have children with them from another husband or wife, those children can be mistreated. They are sometimes used for child labor and are treated like a servant of the other children. I thought there was a good chance this might happen. An irony occurred to me. We grew up with the story of Cinderella, thinking that it was a rare thing that a step-mother would be so cruel to her husband’s child, but I’ve heard too often about situations like that since I’ve lived here.
Our friend’s husband had crushed her phone when they argued, so I knew she couldn’t call us and it is very hard for her to come see us since she lives pretty far away and has to work 6 days a week to feed her three children. (The father of the children has not contributed much.) So, I really wanted to drive over to her house to check on her and give her a few things—food, etc. to help her. So I was praying for her and about going to see her.
The only day it would really work to do that is Sunday, so Saturday, Richard and I made plans to go after church. This morning in church, I was praying about this a lot. I had never been there, but I knew it was not that easy to get to. Also, I had grading and school preparation to do. Then, when we started driving there, it started raining. I asked Richard if he thought it was unwise to go today. He said he thought it wasn’t that bad, so we kept going. When we got close, Richard couldn’t recognize the road to take to go up the mountain and we took on the wrong road in the pouring rain and came to a very narrow dead end. We had no choice but to go down the steep road in reverse. It was a road made with pavers and I was really nervous that we would slip or something. Even when we made it safely down the hill (Ok, I guess Richard is a good driver after all) Things just didn’t seem to be working out. But I kept praying. Then Richard asked some people on the street for the road that the big sand trucks come down. They directed us to an unpaved mountain road. In spite of the rain coming down the road in a stream, we made it up to her house.
She was so glad to see us and was praising God when we got there. Later she told us she had been praying for God to provide because all she had was a little rice to feed her kids and nothing else. I was relieved to see her oldest daughter was still with her.
We talked to her about taking a few days off work. Really, we don’t think she should have to work at this time of year, because she teaches in a pre-school and school doesn’t start until October this year. As it is, they had her working all summer to this point doing “camp” with the kids, never giving her a day off. Her two-year old has been sick off and on for a long time, including a bout with cholera. We wanted to take her to a good doctor. And since her house is missing 1 ½ walls (tarps are hanging there) and she has some of the materials for it, Richard and I suggested she come stay with us for a few days and maybe her relatives next door could supervise the building of the walls while she’s gone.
Her one-room leaky house (with outdoor tarp/tent area for cooking) is actually an improvement on what she was living in when she went back to this area after leaving our house (where she lived in a tent after the earthquake). The other “house” was a structure of tarps, scrap aluminum and a floor of smallish stones. This one is made of two cinderblock walls, two “tarp” walls and it has a cement floor. Her relatives and many other Haitians live in similar homes. But my concern was the oldest daughter, Bergelin.
Venita told me later that she had the exact same concern I had about her husband’s interest in her. And that she had already rescued and hidden her once when her husband had all Bergelin’s clothes in a bag hidden behind his back. Because of the clothes, she knew he was about to take her so Venita wisked her away to a neighbor’s house before he could find her. Bergelin doesn’t want to go with him because she said he is “hot headed” (tet cho).
Venita and the kids were thrilled to come here and are having a nice time. All except Sara who is sick.
The day after they arrived, Richard spent a day taking all three children, and a neighbor’s child to Dr. Jeudy, the Dr. who treated Richard after he was shot. After that, we had to get some medical tests done and also buy some prescription medications for the children. This ended up taking most of the day, due to the many stops we had to make along the way. At one point, all of the children had to have a blood test, so I ended up holding 3-year-old Gaetan during the test because his mother was holding baby Sarah. He was brave until he got stuck, and then cried those hot tears that stream down the face. But it was over in a flash, and he was back to his own smiley self by the time we got back in the car.
We got home safely, and now everyone is sleeping peacefully after a big day!
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