Last week we got a call from a friend saying that her husband wasn’t treating her well and was asking for a divorce. He also wanted to take their seven-year-old daughter with him to live with his girlfriend and the child he fathered with her. A couple days later it dawned on me that the reason he wanted her was probably not good. In this country, often step-parents don’t accept the children of their spouses’ previous marriages. And if they do have children with them from another husband or wife, those children can be mistreated. They are sometimes used for child labor and are treated like a servant of the other children. I thought there was a good chance this might happen. An irony occurred to me. We grew up with the story of Cinderella, thinking that it was a rare thing that a step-mother would be so cruel to her husband’s child, but I’ve heard too often about situations like that since I’ve lived here.
Our friend’s husband had crushed her phone when they argued, so I knew she couldn’t call us and it is very hard for her to come see us since she lives pretty far away and has to work 6 days a week to feed her three children. (The father of the children has not contributed much.) So, I really wanted to drive over to her house to check on her and give her a few things—food, etc. to help her. So I was praying for her and about going to see her.
The only day it would really work to do that is Sunday, so Saturday, Richard and I made plans to go after church. This morning in church, I was praying about this a lot. I had never been there, but I knew it was not that easy to get to. Also, I had grading and school preparation to do. Then, when we started driving there, it started raining. I asked Richard if he thought it was unwise to go today. He said he thought it wasn’t that bad, so we kept going. When we got close, Richard couldn’t recognize the road to take to go up the mountain and we took on the wrong road in the pouring rain and came to a very narrow dead end. We had no choice but to go down the steep road in reverse. It was a road made with pavers and I was really nervous that we would slip or something. Even when we made it safely down the hill (Ok, I guess Richard is a good driver after all) Things just didn’t seem to be working out. But I kept praying. Then Richard asked some people on the street for the road that the big sand trucks come down. They directed us to an unpaved mountain road. In spite of the rain coming down the road in a stream, we made it up to her house.
She was so glad to see us and was praising God when we got there. Later she told us she had been praying for God to provide because all she had was a little rice to feed her kids and nothing else. I was relieved to see her oldest daughter was still with her.
We talked to her about taking a few days off work. Really, we don’t think she should have to work at this time of year, because she teaches in a pre-school and school doesn’t start until October this year. As it is, they had her working all summer to this point doing “camp” with the kids, never giving her a day off. Her two-year old has been sick off and on for a long time, including a bout with cholera. We wanted to take her to a good doctor. And since her house is missing 1 ½ walls (tarps are hanging there) and she has some of the materials for it, Richard and I suggested she come stay with us for a few days and maybe her relatives next door could supervise the building of the walls while she’s gone.
Her one-room leaky house (with outdoor tarp/tent area for cooking) is actually an improvement on what she was living in when she went back to this area after leaving our house (where she lived in a tent after the earthquake). The other “house” was a structure of tarps, scrap aluminum and a floor of smallish stones. This one is made of two cinderblock walls, two “tarp” walls and it has a cement floor. Her relatives and many other Haitians live in similar homes. But my concern was the oldest daughter, Bergelin.
Venita told me later that she had the exact same concern I had about her husband’s interest in her. And that she had already rescued and hidden her once when her husband had all Bergelin’s clothes in a bag hidden behind his back. Because of the clothes, she knew he was about to take her so Venita wisked her away to a neighbor’s house before he could find her. Bergelin doesn’t want to go with him because she said he is “hot headed” (tet cho).
Venita and the kids were thrilled to come here and are having a nice time. All except Sara who is sick.
The day after they arrived, Richard spent a day taking all three children, and a neighbor’s child to Dr. Jeudy, the Dr. who treated Richard after he was shot. After that, we had to get some medical tests done and also buy some prescription medications for the children. This ended up taking most of the day, due to the many stops we had to make along the way. At one point, all of the children had to have a blood test, so I ended up holding 3-year-old Gaetan during the test because his mother was holding baby Sarah. He was brave until he got stuck, and then cried those hot tears that stream down the face. But it was over in a flash, and he was back to his own smiley self by the time we got back in the car.
We got home safely, and now everyone is sleeping peacefully after a big day!
Monday, August 29, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Venita needs prayer!
A few weeks ago before Carol got back from the US I went to see Venita and her family at her family's homestead way up on the mountains above Port-au-Prince. It is hard to believe there is such natural beauty just 15 minutes above Port-au-Prince.
I went mainly because I had heard that they had been reunited with their third child who had been staying with relatives until they could afford to send her to school in the fall. Bejano, the Dad, had just gotten a job teaching men about domestic violence in the tent camps. Venita had her old job teaching school back, so with 2 incomes, it finally seemed that they would be able to build a house and live as a family again.
So I was delighted to meet Berjline, a tall, toothless five year old! She was all smiles and giggles and adored her little brother and sister. It was great to see them all together.
But then a few weeks later I got a call from Venita. She was talking very fast in Creole and knew she was very upset, so I asked Margaret, our cook, who is also a wonderful Christian, to try and make sense of what she was saying.
It turned out that Bejano admitted to having an affair with another woman that had already resulted in a baby outside of the marriage. Now he wanted to take Berjline away from Venita so she could help his girlfriend with the new baby, sort of like in Cinderella with the step-mother. Ironically, the man who taught other men about domestic violence threatened his wife and smashed her cell phone in his anger when she refused to let him take Berjline. He had already taken Berjline's clothes and was about to snatch her away, when Venita cried for help and her family hid Berjline for her.
We had been praying about the situation all week, and of course we could not contact Venita because her phone had been smashed. So Carol and I decided to go up the mountain on a Sunday afternoon because on Sunday's there is very little traffic. Unfortunately, it started to pour rain just as we got to the dirt road. The road quickly turned into a river flowing swiftly down the mountain. I looked at the road as a challenge, but Carol was a little frightened. But our trusty Toyota 4WD pickup made it up no problem. Venita was so excited to see Carol, she ran over and gave her a big hug!
It's hard to describe Venita's house when it rains. Picture drips all over the place, and one in particular on the bed where she and the 3 children sleep. In addition, she had 20 bags of cement taking up 1/4 of the house because during the earthquake, two out of the 4 walls of the house fell down. The other two walls are just tarps and plastic sheeting. She said that at night all kinds of insects and animals crawl inside for "shelter".
Later I found out one type of animal that visits her in the middle of the night: Tarantulas! When we were visiting a new-born baby next door, one tried to crawl into the house where the baby was sleeping, so I killed it with a stick.
Since Venita wanted to fix up her house, and had a week of vacation before school started, we invited her and her 3 children to stay with us while the house was being worked on.
Now they are peacefully sleeping in Ricky's old bedroom.
Poor Venita has been through a lot since the earthquake, so pray for her as she faces this next challenge. And pray for marriages here in Haiti and in the US, where Satan still seeks to destroy families by sin and unfaithfulness.
I went mainly because I had heard that they had been reunited with their third child who had been staying with relatives until they could afford to send her to school in the fall. Bejano, the Dad, had just gotten a job teaching men about domestic violence in the tent camps. Venita had her old job teaching school back, so with 2 incomes, it finally seemed that they would be able to build a house and live as a family again.
So I was delighted to meet Berjline, a tall, toothless five year old! She was all smiles and giggles and adored her little brother and sister. It was great to see them all together.
But then a few weeks later I got a call from Venita. She was talking very fast in Creole and knew she was very upset, so I asked Margaret, our cook, who is also a wonderful Christian, to try and make sense of what she was saying.
It turned out that Bejano admitted to having an affair with another woman that had already resulted in a baby outside of the marriage. Now he wanted to take Berjline away from Venita so she could help his girlfriend with the new baby, sort of like in Cinderella with the step-mother. Ironically, the man who taught other men about domestic violence threatened his wife and smashed her cell phone in his anger when she refused to let him take Berjline. He had already taken Berjline's clothes and was about to snatch her away, when Venita cried for help and her family hid Berjline for her.
We had been praying about the situation all week, and of course we could not contact Venita because her phone had been smashed. So Carol and I decided to go up the mountain on a Sunday afternoon because on Sunday's there is very little traffic. Unfortunately, it started to pour rain just as we got to the dirt road. The road quickly turned into a river flowing swiftly down the mountain. I looked at the road as a challenge, but Carol was a little frightened. But our trusty Toyota 4WD pickup made it up no problem. Venita was so excited to see Carol, she ran over and gave her a big hug!
It's hard to describe Venita's house when it rains. Picture drips all over the place, and one in particular on the bed where she and the 3 children sleep. In addition, she had 20 bags of cement taking up 1/4 of the house because during the earthquake, two out of the 4 walls of the house fell down. The other two walls are just tarps and plastic sheeting. She said that at night all kinds of insects and animals crawl inside for "shelter".
Later I found out one type of animal that visits her in the middle of the night: Tarantulas! When we were visiting a new-born baby next door, one tried to crawl into the house where the baby was sleeping, so I killed it with a stick.
Since Venita wanted to fix up her house, and had a week of vacation before school started, we invited her and her 3 children to stay with us while the house was being worked on.
Now they are peacefully sleeping in Ricky's old bedroom.
Poor Venita has been through a lot since the earthquake, so pray for her as she faces this next challenge. And pray for marriages here in Haiti and in the US, where Satan still seeks to destroy families by sin and unfaithfulness.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
The Lord takes away, and the Lord gives
The Lord takes away, and the Lord gives
Our car battery died the other morning, just as we were trying to get Carol to school on time. The annoying thing was that it was less than 2 years old, and supposedly had an 85 month warranty. So I emailed Interstate battery customer service and explained the situation, expecting to maybe get a portion of the price I paid for the battery back.
In the meantime, I got the battery tested, tried to charge it overnight, and had a mechanic look at the car to make sure it was not an electrical problem. All tests showed the battery was really dead, and so I went out and purchased a battery for $160 US.
Our car battery died the other morning, just as we were trying to get Carol to school on time. The annoying thing was that it was less than 2 years old, and supposedly had an 85 month warranty. So I emailed Interstate battery customer service and explained the situation, expecting to maybe get a portion of the price I paid for the battery back.
In the meantime, I got the battery tested, tried to charge it overnight, and had a mechanic look at the car to make sure it was not an electrical problem. All tests showed the battery was really dead, and so I went out and purchased a battery for $160 US.
The story of Bernadette
As we were leaving to get Carol to school on time the other day, we saw a young lady near our gate gesturing for us to stop. We were running late so we didn’t stop, but when I came back from dropping Carol off, she was still waiting near our gate.
I asked her how she knew us, since I did not recognize her. She said she had seen us at Quisqueya Chapel where we attend church, and also knew mutual friends who had helped pay for her schooling when she was young.
Then she began to tell me her sad story: She was pregnant and the Father of her child started to beat her after he found out she was pregnant and didn’t want to get an abortion. I invited her into the house and invited our cook, Margaret, to join us. Margaret is a wonderful Christian woman who is also very wise, and she listened intently as Bernadette told her story.
Bernadette had been badly injured during the earthquake and showed us her disfigured arm and also where they had sewed up her stomach due to internal injuries.
She told us how her church had disciplined her for getting pregnant before marriage and was not allowing her to attend Sunday morning services. We asked her where she was living, and she said with her Mother, who was not a Christian. She said her Mother was very upset about the pregnancy and was very mean to her most of the time.
We asked her if she had ever accepted Christ, and she said she did have a personal relationship with Jesus. I then asked her if she had asked for forgiveness for her sin and showed her 1 John 1:9.
She was quite open and seemed to be sincerely repentant.
We prayed with her after we talked and she shed a few tears. It had probably been a long time since she heard words of comfort instead of condemnation.
After Margaret fixed her a good meal with lots of protein in it she seemed to feel better. As she left, we told her she could come back if she needed more help, or just to pray.
PS: Bernadette came back today and we prayed with her again.
I asked her how she knew us, since I did not recognize her. She said she had seen us at Quisqueya Chapel where we attend church, and also knew mutual friends who had helped pay for her schooling when she was young.
Then she began to tell me her sad story: She was pregnant and the Father of her child started to beat her after he found out she was pregnant and didn’t want to get an abortion. I invited her into the house and invited our cook, Margaret, to join us. Margaret is a wonderful Christian woman who is also very wise, and she listened intently as Bernadette told her story.
Bernadette had been badly injured during the earthquake and showed us her disfigured arm and also where they had sewed up her stomach due to internal injuries.
She told us how her church had disciplined her for getting pregnant before marriage and was not allowing her to attend Sunday morning services. We asked her where she was living, and she said with her Mother, who was not a Christian. She said her Mother was very upset about the pregnancy and was very mean to her most of the time.
We asked her if she had ever accepted Christ, and she said she did have a personal relationship with Jesus. I then asked her if she had asked for forgiveness for her sin and showed her 1 John 1:9.
She was quite open and seemed to be sincerely repentant.
We prayed with her after we talked and she shed a few tears. It had probably been a long time since she heard words of comfort instead of condemnation.
After Margaret fixed her a good meal with lots of protein in it she seemed to feel better. As she left, we told her she could come back if she needed more help, or just to pray.
PS: Bernadette came back today and we prayed with her again.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
YABT Haiti and Diplo Foundation Graduation
One of the partnerships we have through Young Americas Business Trust in Haiti is with the Diplo Foundation. They offer on-line courses in internet governance with the goal of educating those who set national policy in the basics of how the internet is goverend. In Haiti, very few understand all that happens behind the scenes to make the internet work.
After we ate lunch one of the topics we discussed how to protect Haitian children from on-line pornography and child predators. None present knew of any laws in Haiti that have been enacted to address these threats to Haitian society.
This is a practical example of how the Diplo training can impact Haiti.
In addition, I purchsed Bibles in Creole for each person who attended. I said that neither YABT Haiti nor Diplo are Christain organizations, but I am a Christian and had purchased Bibles for them to have with my own money. I left the Bibles on a table, and said anyone who wanted to could take one. Every single one of the participants took a Bible, including the head of the Haitian equivalent of the US FCC (Federal Communications Committee)!
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